


Edge of Joking

by extremefangirl1039



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Heartbreaking, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Poor Harry, Poor Remus, SO SAD, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 03:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4288602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extremefangirl1039/pseuds/extremefangirl1039
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a month since Voldemort killed the Potter family. Sirius is in Azkaban. He killed Peter. They left Remus behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Edge of Joking

When you're little, you do stupid things. You make promises you can't keep. We made a promise like that once. We said we'd be friends forever.

The last day of our first year and we were sitting in our room. All of the memories, all of the inside jokes, all of the secrets whispered in the dead of night were packed away in our trunks, ready to be taken home. I wanted to rip everything open, throw everything back around the room where it belonged so we wouldn’t have to leave. I wanted to scream and make time stop, but I was choking on the emptiness in the room so before I could catch my breath we were on the train. Then the platform. Sirius, you were the first to walk away. I thought you were just destined to leave me behind to float back into the night, far away from me where you belong so I panicked and screamed bye at you. But you turned around and said “Don’t think you’ll be getting rid of me that easily Lupin. You three are stuck with me for the rest of your lives. That’s a promise.”

That promise was always the most important thing in my life. It shined bright in the sky during my worst moments and glowed deep inside during the best. I guess I was naive enough to think it would last forever. My mistake.

Things change, people change, and we changed – no – that’s a lie. We didn’t change. This is who we've always been. It’s just more obvious now. Peter, the follower, James, the hero, Sirius, the fighter, and me. What was I to you all? You were everything to me. I guess it doesn't matter anymore.

I wish it was the way it used to be - us four against the world. Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. The Marauders. You three were all I ever had. But now you’re gone and I'm so alone. You three kept me sane. How am I supposed to go on now? This is cowardly and selfish, but I don't care. I am cowardly and selfish. Maybe now I can see you all again.

I've been falling for a long time and I've finally stopped trying to fly. Now I've crashed to the ground. I'm drowning. No matter how loud I scream, no one can hear me. I’m choking on the emptiness again. Who knew forever could end so soon? Goodbye. I still love you all. I’ll never stop.

To Harry James Potter – I’m sorry I left like everyone else.

\- Remus


End file.
